How sad is this: I remember the exact last time I flat out lied. It was June 2012. Wes was deployed and was nagging me about making a ring payment. Long story short, that morning I lied saying I had paid it. I had every intention on paying it that afternoon but I was hospitalized with preterm labor. So ba-bammm! I was caught.
I have yet to live it down- rightfully so, I guesssss.
So when I lied Monday and yesterday, I almost felt a little guilty. ALLLLMOST.
On Monday morning, I sent a text to my boss telling her I was taking a sick day because I might have heat exhaustion. It sounded pretty legit because on Friday I had mentioned we had plans of being on the lake all weekend (it turned out to just be Friday afternoon, but that we had planned all weekend). But that's where I lied. I was perfectly healthy. I did it again on Tuesday too.
Do I feel guilty? Not even a single bit.
As my co-worker mentioned months before, sometimes you just need a mental health day. That's what my Monday and Tuesday were. I spent all weekend AND those two days hanging out with my 4 amazing babies. It was absolutely wonderful and I loved every second. We didn't have an agenda and just flew by the seat of our pants and enjoyed each others company. Wes had to work Monday and was honestly sick Tuesday so it was just me and my babies. I really needed that.
Being a working mom has been hard on me. Summers are the hardest. I mean, school time is exhausting but summertime is when I miss being a stay-at-home mom the most. I miss staying up late with them and getting to play at the park at a moments notice. I miss the lunch picnics, the trips to the water park, jumping through the sprinklers, the random drives that lead us somewhere fun, the trips to the carousel, the camping, the trips to the lake, the fort making- ALL OF IT! I miss my little friends- I want to enjoy the no bedtimes and lack of plans too.
Weekends aren't very fun for me- but I'm okay with that during the dreary winters. My Saturdays usually are consumed with washing laundry and cleaning the house. It's usually an all day thing because though my house is picked up throughout the week, it's not "cleaned." And doing 8+ loads of laundry aren't exactly exciting. My Sundays usually consist of a big homemade breakfast, baking, meal prep for the next week, and more laundry (this is when I sort and then fold it all. It takes hours). As you can tell, that doesn't leave much room for fun. That's why I feel jipped. Yes, I do get two days a week "off" but they aren't exactly what I wanted... Responsibilities SUCK.
So yes, I lied. I flat out lied AND I don't even care. It was totally worth it!
I'm really looking forward to our move for flight school in April. The plan is for me to be a stay at home mom while the kids adjust and if I want to, I can go back to working when school starts up again. It's not a money issue so much as I'm much happier when I'm working- though part time would be perfect. I think as soon as I leave this job, I'll stick with part time. I've enjoyed what I've accomplished and all the people I've helped but I miss being a more hands-on type of mom. I'll miss this place when I leave but I know I'll enjoy the step back.
So here's to: No more lying (unless it's needed for more "sick days") and an exciting future!
April can't come fast enough
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